Always check the seal

One evening at a newspaper in Manchester, UK a colleague and myself were onsite helping a customer to get their newspaper out. Fortunately we weren’t particularly busy because the journalists had everything under control and so we had plenty of time for conversation.

For the purpose of protecting the not so innocent I’m going to call my colleague Ian. Eventually the topic of conversation drifted to the worst thing we’d done while travelling for work. Ian then told me his story and I’ve never been the same since.

One evening Ian returned to his hotel after spending a night out in a strange town, he’d managed to pick up a girl at a local bar and after turning on his considerable charm managed to have sex with her even though they’d both enjoyed way too many adult beverages. Once in his room he tried to fall asleep but he started to be concerned about having unprotected sex with a girl that gave it up the first night.

No matter how hard Ian tried he couldn’t get the thought of catching some kind of sex related infection and then in his drunken state of mind he had an inspired idea. The best thing he could do was wash his equipment not in a shower but in alcohol. Ian opened up the mini bar and took out three miniature bottles of whiskey and poured the contents into a huge glass (we only have is word about the size of the glass he needed) and started to wash his manly parts. Having done that he left the glass on the side of the sink and thinking that any potential health problems had been solved he was able to fall asleep.

However in the morning Ian checked out the price of the 3 miniature bottles of whisky and decided that he was being ripped off. So Ian poured the contents of the glass back into the three bottles and topped them up with a bit of water from the tap. Then he screwed the tops back on and replaced them in the minibar but at the back of the row of whiskey bottles. The idea being that no one would discover what he’d done because when the room was serviced it would look like nothing had been consumed from the minibar.

Of course I was laughing at Ian’s story, his deviousness was quite impressive but I also thought about the poor person who enjoyed more than a couple of whiskeys and would reach Ian’s bottles in the course of one evening. I guess the only clue that something was wrong would be that the seal around the bottle top was broken but who checks that?

Ever since Ian told me his story I always check the seal of any bottle I open.

That’s my reality,

Jobsonian