Tuesday, July 19, 2016

FRIDAY APRIL 4 2014 - I remember it well

For some reason I just found myself reading a couple of pages of a diary I kept while wife 23 (aka Cecie) was fighting cancer. Anyone caring for a cancer patient might say they don't need help but most definitely they do, they just don't know it.

Here's a window into the day of a life that I used to have:

FRIDAY APRIL 4 2014
It’s 03:11 AM as I type after yet another diarrhea and vomiting crisis. Since Cecie fell down her confidence in being able to walk safely has gone and so these activities have taken place while Cecie’s been laid down in bed. Cecie has no energy and that’s because she’s not been eating and no fuel is being fed to her body.

I’m now running my 4th batch of washing as I try to keep up with the towels, rags, buckets and wash clothes that we have used. The good news is that Cecie’s now sleeping again which is great but I’m still buzzed from all of the activity and so I find myself typing away.

The clean up isn’t such a big deal after you’ve witnessed Cecie going through these intense situations, she’s fighting to throw up or not at the same time the diarrhea is also in action. At these times there’s no relief for Cecie, absolutely no dignity, everything is just out there as she continues to struggle and get through the attack.

The focus of today will be to try and get stable so that we avoid any trips to the emergency room over the weekend.

Cecie continued to cough throughout the night, I tried to get her to take a puff or two from her inhaler but my suggestions fell on deaf ears. I guess she feels that her cough comes from deep inside her lungs and that the inhaler won’t help but we really should give it a try.

Yesterday I went to GNC to see if I could get some meal replacement shakes that would be good for Cecie. The lady behind the counter was a cancer survivor and she told me to buy a certain shake that had kept her alive when she was going through chemo. They had three flavors, chocolate, strawberry and vanilla, the lady told me that chocolate was their best seller and didn’t taste chalky. However she did say that the chemo drugs change the taste buds and that it’s impossible to predict if a person would enjoy the drink or not.

I told this story to Cecie when I presented the shake, immediately I could see that even before tasting the shake she wasn’t going to like it. I live through these situations regularly whenever I suggest watching a TV series or a movie from the UK, instantly it’s judged as total rubbish by Cecie. Although my dear American wife did eat some humble pie when her friends and eventually herself became fans of Downton Abbey ;-)

Now for the rest of the story . . . .

I tried to take Cecie’s blood pressure using the electronic device that our neighbor Debbie has let us borrow, of course I couldn’t get a decent reading and just assumed that this was because I was a man but I tried it on myself and the device returned the normal perfect result for a sporting legend like myself. For Cecie I could only get 78 over 45 which I now know is very low.

I’d emailed Dr. D’Amato’s nurse about Cecie’s situation and she called me as soon as she’d read my description. Angela told me that I had to take Cecie to the ER, it was a matter of urgency.

I was out walking the dog at the time and so I headed directly home and told Cecie that we needed to go to the ER immediately. She asked for 5 minutes to get herself together and so I started loading up the car and parked on the grass so that Cecie wouldn’t have far to walk.

We should/could have called 911 but they’d have taken her to Kennesaw and Cecie insisted that we go to Northside Hospital ER because that’s where her doctors are. Now I must admit that I lost a bit of patience with Cecie because trying to get her dressed took much longer than anticipated.

Mark : What type of pants do you want to wear?
Cecie : Any, it doesn’t matter

So I go the the closet and pull out a pair of black workout pants

Cecie : Not those, black but a different pair!

For those of you that have had the pleasure of viewing Cecie’s considerable clothing collection you’d know that this task was going to be difficult. 5 different pairs of black workout pants later I found the “perfect” pair.

Mark : What shoes do you want to wear?
Cecie : Any, it doesn’t matter

I go back to the closet and look down at the vast collection of trainers and select a pair that would go with black workout pants.

Cecie : Not those, black and pink!

She has at least 6 pairs of black and pink trainers. Three pairs of trainers later I find the perfect pair! It could have been worse like six pairs later ;-)

Cecie : I need a black baseball cap
Mark : Which one?
Cecie : Any black cap, wait the one from Nike

Easy peasy lemon squeasy that’s the kind of instruction I can follow.

I’m amazed by this, we need to get to the ER and Cecie is concerned about what she’s wearing. Myself I’d have pulled on my lucky Nautica Sailor Boy boxers, the closest top, a pair of shorts, some socks and shoes and would have been ready in less than 60 seconds. Of course I wouldn’t be color coordinated but who cares? Now I can answer that Cecie DOES!

It was a tremendous effort to get Cecie down our stairs, she was very nervous because of the incident last night where her legs just gave way. Somehow we managed it but it had taken a great deal of effort from Cecie, just as we shuffled through our front door I felt Cecie’s legs give way again. I could have grabbed Cecie and carried her to the car but that would have involved me inflicting a lot of pain on her. I made a split decision to lay her gently on the ground and let her have some time to recover.

Then I looked around and started to panic, I didn’t really know what I was going to do next. At that moment our next door neighbor Mary’s boyfriend (or friend with not enough benefits - he, he, he) Sir Eric drove up, he stopped his car quicker than Vandy’s Tesla that’s run out of electricity. I hear lots of clanging as our knight in shining armor rushed to our aid. Sir Eric helped me get Cecie into the car and we set off for Northside.

On the drive down to the hospital Cecie told me that when she was on the ground she’d actually seen the bright white light and came back to earth listening to Sir Eric and myself discuss how to get Cecie down the front steps and into the car. With two people this turned out to be a very easy thing to do, also Cecie was determined to get into the car and go to Northside.

The journey was uneventful, Cecie and myself talked but I could see that she was struggling, trying not to throw up or evacuate. When I wheeled Cecie into the ER they were expecting us as promised and we went directly to the treatment area. The nurse realised that Cecie was having difficulties and took her back to a room and started to hook her up.

The doctor arrived with lots of nurses, both Cecie and myself answered a lot of questions and I was politely pushed out of the room. Of course I sneaked a peek through the gap in the curtain and was shocked to see the blood pressure reading of 55 over 35. They put a saline drip in her left arm, then a port specialist arrived and he got both ports opened while another drip was attached to Cecie’s right arm.

By the time I was allowed back in the room she had 4 bags of saline being infused at the same time. I was relieved to see that Cecie’s blood pressure had improved to 81 over 40 and that Cecie was starting to get some color back in her face. The only thing that kept me calm was that Cecie was always awake and answering questions correctly.

Gradually Cecie’s blood pressure started to climb, throughout this process I was surprised that her heart rate was fine and very impressed that her blood oxygen level was 100% which makes me think that the left lung is fully operational. Once the blood pressure climbed to 90 over something or other I could feel the tension leave the room.

Then the blood results came back and they were bad, no white cells, very low platelets, very low potassium and some other bad stuff. The doctor told me that Cecie would be admitted, he had a call out for Dr D’Amato to discuss Cecie’s situation and while that was going on he wanted to give her two drips of antibiotics just in case she had any infection, even though there had been no signs of infection or fever.

After talking to Dr. D’Amato it was decided to admit Cecie into the ICU, not that she was in any imminent danger but to be on the safe side and to be able to make certain that she did not get any infection. It was the lack of white cells that was the cause for concern and so after another drip of potassium was added they moved us up to the ICU and room 23.

The two nurses in charge of transportation and myself exchanged a bit of banter while making the journey to the ICU ward and I was pleased when Cecie laughed and joined in with the jokes. That was the first time I’d seen the $1,024,000 smile that day.

It was strange to be back in ICU again, they hooked Cecie up and replaced the empty fluid bags. Cecie managed to drift off to sleep now and then. Dr. D’Amato visited and talked to Cecie about what had happened, once again Dr. D’Amato was on great form with her incredible bedside manner. She’s so patient and always finds a way to describe the most technical medical thing in simple terms that even I can understand.

I told Dr. D’Amato that I couldn’t believe how quickly things had deteriorated and why was it taking 10 days for the chemo to cause these issues. In simple terms the body normally replenishes itself all of the time, it create white blood cells that replace white cells that die naturally after 10 days or so. Chemo kills everything and prevents the new white cells from being created, so after 10 days when existing white cells die Cecie is left with no white cells because her body hasn’t been creating any new replacements - she hits the wall. This kind of scenario is true for all sorts of stuff in Cecie’s body.

So the plan is to keep hydrating Cecie, to give her some platelets to speed up her recovery and to get her body kick started on creating new cells. Cecie will be in ICU for a couple of days, then perhaps released to a general ward and only allowed home when her blood is back in good shape.

Dr. D’Amato told us that she might have given Cecie chemo that was just a bit too strong but she wanted to be aggressive because she wants to go for the cure. Cecie told her that she likes the idea of being aggressive but that we should have been more aware of the consequences and reacted at the first sign of any major issue. Looking back I told the Dr. that the signs were there but we didn’t understand the consequences of not reading the signs correctly.

The Dr. told us not to beat ourselves up over this situation and that the reality is that we can expect multiple visits to the ER while “enjoying” chemo treatment. There was nothing unusual about Cecie’s situation and nothing to be concerned about now that she was in hospital and getting treatment.

There’s a few more details but for now that’s where I’ll leave the diary today.

Thanks so much for all the offers of help. I’ve no doubt that I’ll be getting back to our friends and taking them up on their kind offers but for now we’ve got things covered. Cecie asked me to tell you that sending prayers her way is all that she wants and needs!

Michael is with Cecie tonight and I’ll take over from him at 7:00 AM in the morning. I’ve just taken Sadie for a nice long walk, we’ll do the same in the morning before I leave for the hospital.


I’m looking forward to a poop free night of sleep ;-)

Unfortunately that was my reality,

Jobsonian

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